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Phoenix
18-09-18, 22:11
Best friend has a strong DNA match with a young woman who describes her own skills as advanced.

The mutual ancestors do not appear in the woman's tree because she has leapt from a 1841 entry to an assumption about parentage, when she has actually found the grandfather. Had she looked for the 1843 marriage, she might have spotted her mistake. The line then retreats into garbage.

I feel unequal to the tact needed to point this out. What would you do?

We don't have any family stories, and just one photo that we are uncertain about. Would love that sort of info, but I suspect that that would not be forthcoming (the tree runs into tens of thousands)

Asa
19-09-18, 06:38
If I was exchanging information and research with her, I absolutely would. Partly, because I'm like that and partly because if I'd made a mistake I'd eventually be very grateful that someone pointed it out. If I wasn't in contact with her, I probably wouldn't.

Olde Crone
19-09-18, 07:08
If I am in a tactful mood, haha, I pose it as a possibility that I am wrong and they are right because their research skills are so much better than mine, creep creep.

So -

" I thought I had identified his marriage in 1843 but I see you do not have this and am now wondering how you have eliminated this marriage"

- or some similar ingratiating rubbish!

Sadly though, if she proves interested in having an accurate tree, I think you will find yourself the giver rather than the receiver......yet again.

OC

Phoenix
19-09-18, 07:42
OC, I think she is an ancestor collector. Not at all convinced that an accurate tree is really of any interest. Otherwise she would be testing her research, or making comments.

Asa, I would kill to find actively interested researchers. I used to be indignant if anyone criticised MY research, but now I recognise that someone has paid me the compliment of actually examining my results, not merely accepting them.

Phoenix
20-09-18, 16:06
Well, I've contacted her - and found a baptism she had missed. Proving the relationship. Just waiting for a response :D

Phoenix
21-09-18, 08:02
Anyone surprised that the contact has looked at her account, but not replied?

Merry
21-09-18, 08:09
No, not surprised!

Kit
21-09-18, 11:04
I've never had a response from anyone where I have pointed out a mistake, tactfully or sneakily like OC suggested. Good luck with it, maybe she needs time to reply.

maggie_4_7
21-09-18, 13:08
I've never had a response from anyone where I have pointed out a mistake, tactfully or sneakily like OC suggested. Good luck with it, maybe she needs time to reply.


I have had plenty ignore me but a few have taken notice and thanked me.

Phoenix
21-09-18, 13:38
Ever since the time I told a man (erroneously) that his grandfather was a bigamist :eek: I take it on the chin, and attempt to remedy any error I have made.


Regretably, nobody seems to query my work these days. Don't know about anyone else, but there is satisfaction in proving those links.

maggie_4_7
21-09-18, 16:17
Ever since the time I told a man (erroneously) that his grandfather was a bigamist :eek: I take it on the chin, and attempt to remedy any error I have made.


Regretably, nobody seems to query my work these days. Don't know about anyone else, but there is satisfaction in proving those links.


There certainly is.

Kit
22-09-18, 00:10
I agree, proving links is very satisfying.