Does it stay, or does it go?

[Phoenix]

Some nine years after Mum's death, I am doing some sorting out of her effects.

Six recycling boxes of paper later, I am starting to get on top of things: she never threw ANYTHING away.

Some things are still too difficult, and I'm putting off my parents' cards to each other. But the postcards are going, and the non-family letters.

Most of me knows that ruthlessness is the only way. The other part wonders about destroying evidence of friendships.

So, what is your criterion for keeping correspondence?

[Olde Crone]

It goes when it's ready, I,ve found.

I wasn't able to throw out any correspondence until very recently, when I threw out the whole lot! My girls are not the least bit interested in FH or even in my own past so there seemed suddenly no point in keeping all the trivial letters from friends who are now dead and gone. My father's letters to my mum were of the remember to turn the gas off when you go out variety and not worth keeping.

Moving house was a huge incentive to getting rid, I found!



OC

[Nell]

I've had a clear out recently, as I am selling my house. I got rid of some letters which had been sent to my mother-in-law by friends and relatives. I know these friends and relatives, like mother-in-law, have been dead for ages. One of them had a son I contacted a while ago, for family research, and he showed no interest at all, so I don't feel bad about throwing his relative's letters away.

But on the other hand - I am sure many people have thrown my ancestors' letters away, not knowing I'd be interested - and probably at the time they ditched them, I wouldn't have been!

[Phoenix]

I'm starting to sort between: critical to keep, genuine history and useless ephemera, but when I have whacked this down to a manageable size, there are things which you would not find elsewhere, like the date my father joined the local church. So much geanealogy pays no attention to character and concentrates solely on bmd.

[Merry]

there are things which you would not find elsewhere, like the date my father joined the local church

I would probably keep that, depending on how much other stuff I had accumulated, but alternatively scan it and attach the image to your tree and bin the paper?

[Phoenix]

Currently, paper is significantly safer than digital. I keep on finding printouts of stuff probably prepared in WORDPRO or Supercalc. But yes, I ought to be doing both!

[Merry]

re friends of relations - mum and gran kept a lot of letters, Christmas cards etc from friends. I have not got rid of everything, but have kept one or two items and written a covering biog if I can, stating how and how long they were friends, where they lived etc. In some cases 20 Christmas cards and a dozen letters and photos are thus reduced to one letter, one photo and my one sheet of paper. The act of chucking out the rest is still difficult but once it's done it's done! lol

[Merry]

To my knowledge I've only thrown away one vital document that cannot be replaced, so have had to accept that. :(

[JBee]

I have only a few letters I've kept, some greetings cards and the rest has gone. (one lot of paperwork by mistake including a lovely photo of my Mum).

I am trying hard to get rid of a whole lot of stuff (do I really need it, would anyone in the family want it eventually, so am being a bit ruthless).

However having piles to keep, maybe keep and discard doesn't seem to be reducing it much.

[Joy Dean]

Very difficult decisions. Some letters were kept, some WW1 embroidered postcards kept. Letters my Dad sent to my Mum during WW2 I kept for ages but didn't read them. One day I decided the time had come for the letters to go, and they went. At times, I have regretted this, but perhaps from a selfish point of view, maybe the letters had contained family history details, or maybe I regretted it because their absence meant another link to Mum and Dad had gone. Sometimes I now think they were their letters, not for me to know the contents and at times I think I did the right thing but sometimes with a heavy heart. Emotions are tricky things!