View Full Version : Living Rellies that dont believe the facts over what they believe
BlueSavannah
13-10-12, 07:22
Morning All,
I was wondering if any of you have any living rellies that have always believed their family story(s) through the years, but when you present them with the actual facts, they still dont believe you :rolleyes:
My nan is 86 and has always believed that her father was disowned by his family, particularly his father, when he chose to marry her mother as they felt she was beneath him. Also that her father's ancestors owned schools in Wales (surname is Jones!) and were fairly well to do.
Well, the truth is that her father's dad died when he was 3 and he didnt name him on his marriage cert. His mother was actually a witness to the wedding.
As for owning schools in Wales, the nearest i've got to any of this family from Sheffield is my great x 3 grandfather deciding to stop being a silversmith and was a certified school master for about 20 years in Stoney Middleton, Derbyshire. His own father is my illusive William Jones that on three different census says he was born in Yorkshire/Jersey/At Sea :rolleyes:
My aunt is fascinated by all this and told her mother with all the documents, but Nan has dismissed all of it saying "no, they definately had schools in Wales". Mmmmm :(
Her father also knocked 4 years off his age, made up he was at well to do boys school in Sheffield, and lied about his occupation on at least one occasion, which makes me think he was a bit of a fantasist lol. We didnt tell Nan this bit lol.
Olde Crone
13-10-12, 08:17
Yes, I have a very similar scenario on my mother's side.
Her mother (my grandmother) was an orphan and went into a terrible orphanage where she was beaten and variously ill-used. After she died, her four sons made a pilgrimage to this horrible place (now demolished and derelict), laid flowers for her and had a weep.
Errrr.........her mother died when gran was 14, her father died when she was 46! IF she was ever in this orphanage, I cannot imagine why, the family were fairly comfortably off and I would have thought at 14 she would have been a useful housekeeper for her widowed father and certainly no candidate for an orphanage.
When I told the uncles this and waved the certs, they all closed down on me and I've had very little contact with them since.
I would love to know the truth of this and why she lied about it.
OC
It's amazing what people will believe even when faced with documents etc!
My grandmother made up a fictitious mother for herself and her two siblings (a beautiful angel who died in childbirth when the youngest child was born) and then struggled with keeping this a secret as her siblings were not in on the lie! Ove the years the lies/truth became confused and even now there are family members who refuse to accept that these three children had the woman my gran insisted was their step-mother (horrible ogre who married the widower whillst he was griefstricken) as their real mother, despite seeing the three birth certs!
My family have been entralled with their history - all the twists and turns, a clutch of 'colourful' characters, a couple of criminals and a lot of births out of wedlock. Some of the stories passed down had become a bit fuzzy around the edges, but the family were genuinely pleased when I gave them all the documentary evidence. My OH's family, on the other hand, point blank refuse to let go of their much repeated family stories. Showing them the documentary evidence counts for nothing. They reckon the documents are wrong, not their story. The OH is fine with it all, though.
As they say: Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story.
The OH is fine with it all, though.
He sounds a very sensible man!! lol
When I started out, one of my great aunts gave me lots of colourful stories about her grandfather. Amongst others:
He was brought up by his Aunt Halma.
He got a farmer's daughter into trouble and had to mary her, so his father (an Admiral) cut him off with a shilling.
His wife already had a son, known as the half brother.
I quickly learned that his father was a Lieutenant, not an admiral. His mother was a Helmer and I did indeed find him in the 1841 census, living with his aunt Ann Helmer.
In 1861, his wife's son Charles Parsons was part of the family.
I can still recall Kitty's tone of voice when I told her the half brother was called Charles.
It was long after Kitty was dead that I discovered her grandmother was actually pregnant with her third child when she married.
The half brother was patently the eldest child, and had I said he was called William, she would have endorsed the name enthusiastically!
These days I am very sparing with the information I discover, in case I muddy the waters and lead people to agree with my own mistaken assumptions.
BlueSavannah
13-10-12, 11:03
As they say: Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story.[/QUOTE]
I've not heard that saying before but its so true :)
Thanks everyone for sharing your stories, shows most of us have someone who doesnt really want to accept facts.
At least my other side are more accepting of the truth. My other Nan always said her father was orphaned very young and his eldest brother took him in to 'save' him from the orphanage. His parents both apparantly died very young. Well her father was also about 14 when his 2nd parent died. His father was 60 when he conceived my grandfather so was 74 when he actually died; not that young then lol. His mother was late 40s when she conceived him so also not young when she died. This nan thought this was hillarious when I told her :D
Olde Crone
13-10-12, 18:44
Oh, my great grandmother, Ellen Holden, died of a broken heart in 1919 when her only child, my grandfather, did not return from the war and was missing presumed dead.
Hm. According to her death cert, she died in Feb 1919 of Spanish Influenza, my grandfather was present at her death and was the informant. He had been repatriated in 1918. Again, no one was pleased with me when I waved the cert!
OC
Mary from Italy
13-10-12, 20:50
My nan is 86 and has always believed that her father was disowned by his family, particularly his father, when he chose to marry her mother as they felt she was beneath him.
You'd be surprised how many families have a similar myth.
Margaret in Burton
13-10-12, 21:15
My great grandfathers name was Jabez Newey, his wife my great grandmother was Helena Phillis Rust.
We have been brought up with the story that they were connected with the Newey Hook and Eye firm. Newey Brothers (http://www.gracesguide.co.uk/Newey_Brothers)
We were told the company slogan was NEWEY'S hooks and eyes never RUST
My OH years ago contacted the company and they had never heard of that slogan.
I can find no connection to that company.
Do my aunts and uncles and 2nd cousins believe that the family story is wrong? Of course they don't.[/COLOR]
NEWEY'S hooks and eyes never RUST
I have some 'antique' hooks and eyes made by the De Long Hook and Eye Co and they say "Rust? Never!!" on the card. S....maybe you are related to them instead!!! :rolleyes:
My parents are quite accepting of whatever I find.
Mum was more than happy that her first maternal ancestor to arrive in Australia was not called John but rather was George and George was a convict. Aunt M, however, was the one who said George was called John. Mum thinks M must have known George was a convict but was embarrassed by it.
Dad's side is supposed to have a baronet somewhere on the direct paternal line that went bankrupt and another line came from Scotland and there was a pharmacist.
I haven't gotten the paternal line back far enough but I think there is a baronet in Scotland there on a female line. However in Scotland at the time you could buy a baronet. :) The bankruptcy was 2 generations later and while I wouldn't say bankrupt she didn't have much money and changed her will to reflect the loss of property.
The pharmacist from Scotland was actually a travelling chemist from Yorkshire who went to Scotland.
OC I heard recently that the medical profession has decided it is possible to die of a broken heart. It is also possible however to recover from the condition. It was quite interesting.
Margaret in Burton
14-10-12, 08:41
I have some 'antique' hooks and eyes made by the De Long Hook and Eye Co and they say "Rust? Never!!" on the card. S....maybe you are related to them instead!!! :rolleyes:
No Merry.
Family legend has it that the slogan came about because of the marriage of Newey and Rust.
Absolute poppycock, he was a butler and then a railway worker and she was a servant before marriage.
Nothing to do with hooks and eyes and anything else in that line. His father was a tailor that's the closest it comes to it. My Newey line has no connection whatsoever to the hook and eye firm. Newey is a very common name in the Birmingham area.
Olde Crone
14-10-12, 08:47
Kit
I don't think "broken heart" is yet on the list of official causes of death in the UK though.
OC
I'm not sure it is official here either OC. But they had a diagram showing what happens to a heart during a heart attack and what happens to a "broken" heart. It was quite fascinating and the damage was real and can be fatal.
Olde Crone
16-10-12, 19:01
Kit
I read a bit about this in today's paper and I interpreted it to mean that the newspapers wanted to be able to say people die of a broken heart!
What I read was that extreme shock - pleasant or otherwise - can cause a heart attack and that the sudden death of a loved one is an extreme shock. Prolonged distraught grieving can also stress the heart and cause a heart attack.
(The article said you can also recover from a broken heart - as you can recover from a heart attack!)
OC
I can't remember the diagrams exactly but say in a heart attack the heart swells and is more like a ball shape. With a broken heart it elongates.
I believe extreme shock can do a lot. I thought I won $5000 on a scratch lottery ticket once and I almost had a full on panic attack. Paul's uncle won lotto and was so stunned he sat all night sitting on the lounge trying to take it in.
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